Two things today:
Can report have started assembling book submission for HCI (Health Communications Inc).
They are the people that published Dave Pelzer’s “A Child Called It” – the most harrowing book I have ever read.
Tricky as the want to know about competing titles and sales figures and demographics of target audience (!).
Even though some say mis lit is over, this is not borne out in practice as they are still being published.
So far I have not included on this site my mis lit sections intended to be interleaved between the travel journal.
I think my book is different because it is mainly about my life with Muslims in Maldives – two hot topics at present.
Secondly, following are latest comments which I found particularly useful as they point up some really good ideas to improve the writing:
“Because your formatting (with individual journal entries) makes the story naturally disjointed it is imperative that each journal entry flow very, very, very, well, otherwise, the author can never get in a groove.
That is obviously my personal opinion.
I found many moments where I felt like popcorn as a reader, having to adjust from random idea to random idea.
For instance, you are talking at one point about how you met your advisor and then all of a sudden you introduce someone else and then proceed to mention how she is allowed to go home to tend to her child.
Where was the logical progression of thought?
How did we get from your advisor to Usmeena and why is it important for me to know she can go home to tend to her child?
I think you ought to take your time and lengthen your scenes.
Give yourself a chance to develop them more fully and I believe you might have something special.
I love the content.
I really do, and a lot of successful non-fiction works have been written with the same formatting.
Best to you. (R Newell)
“Your dream would be my nightmare, probably for all the same reasons, but it is also totally fascinating.
What looks like paradise to many is a place of complete contrasts along with the unexpected (and what on earth were you doing going there when you have a phobia about poor harmless mice?)
I like the use of the news items at the top of each chapter, and wonder if you were involved in any of them.
In addition to a rollicking personal account, you have a wonderful way with words and images:
“Ferried along in a giant concrete mixer.”
“A lush moustache worthy of writing home about.”
*Yes, that was a bloody awful joke about desert*
“Like he had a building on his head at some time in the past.”
“Stares at his 100 note as if it just might be the prophet Muhammed‘s thigh-bone.”
“When my fiancé goes out the back, I whip down the stairs.” (I hurt my face laughing at that)
The narrative sometimes feels a bit choppy which is understandable as it is based on diary entries, but you might consider fleshing it out slightly in a few places so, for example, we can see how you gradually managed to control the students, rather than the narrative jumping from complete disaster to good teacher. However, an editor will help you fix that when it’s picked up for publication.
“…look like they could slice tomatoes. He looks at (peers at / examines) my work permit” (so you don’t have a repeat of ‘look’ so near the start.
Where you have more than one sentence in a row starting with I, try to vary the structure, e.g.” Waiting behind the barrier, I scan all the name cards.”
I’ll star this highly and save it on my WL for now, but I suspect it is destined for the ED and I’ll help it along eventually.” (Sly80).
- Maldives to hold first polls since president toppled (straitstimes.com)
- EU reiterates calls for fair election in Maldives (nzweek.com)
- India Needs To Engage With Maldives, Not Detach Itself – Analysis (eurasiareview.com)
- Velassaru | Maldives Resort (jonnymetbird.com)