My Entry #6


“You’ve heard of the glass ceiling; welcome to the foam ladder.”


My Entries #1 – #5


This is definitely not what I thought they meant by achieving a ‘work-life balance.’ #5


161031_contest-690“I think we need to readdress the terms of the ivory donor scheme with you-know-who. ” #4



“I just do not believe that all those ruff layers are from her real, actual friends.” #3



“So, the mugger look is your idea of blending in, is it?” #2



“I am the last specialist in this field; my colleagues will not touch anything bigger than a bank-card.” #1



Chakku – Indian Staff Member HIH

Find a great shop in Villingili called Apollo. Alongside the cabbages and curry paste, it boasts a selection of special creams for: armpit-whitening, nipple-pinkening and Lady a Vergin (don’t ask). Continue reading

Maldives 8

Maldives 7

At Hulhule Hotel pool - my regular haunt

The Author by the HIH Pool

On the way home I have tea in a café, choosing noodles and mango juice.  The chap who brings the juice is about thirty and sits down. Continue reading

Maldives 6

Walk on Maldives Island

I am ensconced in a two-bedroom apartment all to myself. I have not bathed in such luxury since I left my three-bedroom London squat in 1993. Continue reading

Maldives 5


HIH Pool at Sunset

I have managed to scrounge up two young men (who, strangely, do not speak English) to clean the gaggable filth left behind by the previous tenants. Nazrul is very dark and average looking whilst Habab is the best looking man I have ever shared breathing-space with. A visage normally residing within Italian Vogue.

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Maldives 4


Fellow Passengers

On my way back home, a man catches me up. He saw me at HIH and wants to get together. We arrange that for tomorrow.

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